Nimals. They're all around us. You may know a few or even have one (or even two) as a parent. But, unless both parents are Nimals (or you have, for some other reason, been forced to live completely among them), Nimals¹ are probably something of a mystery to you. 

As well they should be! Nimals engage in such a great variety of pointless actions, hold tightly to so many bizarre opinions, and generally appear to be mostly completely asleep all the time, that they may not seem to be worthy of study. Or, if studied, they may not seem possibly comprehended. But, this isn't the way it is. Though the understanding of Nimals may not be a natural or easy thing for us to do, the commonly observed habit of throwing one's hands in the air while exclaiming "It's all just Nimal to me!" is just the lazy way out.²

But you, dear reader, in choosing this book to peruse, have shown that laziness is not good enough for you! You understand that the ubiquity of Nimals necessitates study of their ways. And, indeed, the good news is that Nimals can be -- to a greater extent than you might imagine possible -- understood!

Your author, dear reader, has spent nearly fifty-five years in close proximity to various groups of Nimals. He has, firsthand, delved into the mysteries of the supermarket, the amusement park, the laundromat and the parking lot (to name but a few). He has talked directly to Nimals who were more than eager to offer explanations for why they were doing what they were doing and why they expected everyone else to do the same thing. Careful observation (sometimes while in the form of a goldfish³) and  listening without laughing have provided many insights which may now be passed on to you. Careful use of this Guide will thus enable you to avoid the most common mistakes in dealing with Nimals.